Forgiveness

So, have you broken your New Year’s resolution yet? I know it has only been a couple of weeks, but most resolutions are broken in the first few days because they are difficult. The average date it takes to break a New Year’s Resolution is January 11th. Studies say that it takes six weeks to break an old habit or build a new one, it is interesting because the season of Lent is just over six weeks long and Lent is only about four weeks away!

We have the slogan of “a new year, a new me.” It is a good saying, but we need to have the desire or a reason to change. We have to have a better reason to do something different instead of what we are currently doing. An Alcoholic has what they call a moment of clarity, or they say they have to hit “rock bottom” to really desire a change. It could be a loved one leaving them, or some other event that really gets them to want to change. In our spiritual lives we often think that everything is going just fine, until we run into a challenge to the way things are going. It could be a death that we are facing or other major life changing event that we are dealing with.

One of the biggest things that can negatively affect our lives is holding on to grudges. We hold onto them like an addict holds onto the substance they are addicted to. We say that we are going to get even with that person or we relish when something bad happens to that person. One of the things that I would recommend in this “new me” is to make a conscious decision to let go of anger or a grudge we are holding on to. It could be someone that we are still close to, it could be someone that we are not, or it could be someone we have not talked to in years. One of the phrases that we hear so often is to “forgive and forget.” We are all called to forgive, but it is very difficult to forget.

Forgiveness is something that Jesus doesn’t recommend; He requires it! Remember “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” And “if you fail to forgive your brother or sister, neither will you be forgiven.” Jesus asks us to forgive, not because the other person asks for it, or even deserves it, but because he knows that it will help us to see the mercy of God acting in our lives. It is there to give us peace in our hearts, because as we hold on to those grudges, As St Augustine states, holding on to grudges is like drinking poison expecting your enemy to die. Forgiveness is really about our freedom from anger. Take the time in this new year to leave a heavy burden behind you and forgive. New Year, New Me.

God bless,
Fr. Ken